Let us walk honestly, as in the day; not in rioting and drunkenness, not in chambering and wantonness, not in strife and envying.
—Rom. 13:13
4859 A Surprised Judge
Hell is vibrant with ghoulish glee when Christians in church fight among themselves.
A New Jersey judge advised prayer as a solution to a church property dispute. “It is hard to understand,” he told members of both factions in his court, “how professed Christians could become so bitter as to bring a matter involving dollars and cents into court. This controversy should be resolved by members of both groups on their knees in prayer to demonstrate your right to be called Christians.”
—Walter B. Knight
4860 Disorderly Conduct In Church
A congregation of the Church of God in Christ in Wichita, Kansas, has asked a court to stop four of the members from disrupting services. Bishop Graze Kinard says the four have run through the sanctuary moaning and shouting while he tried to conduct services.
He alleges that they shut the pastor’s Bible while he was preaching, took away the pastor’s microphone and hit him over the head, and pinned down the pianist’s arms. Police have had to step in several times, and the congregation has dwindled from 600 to fifty because of the trouble, complains the bishop. The trouble apparently stems from a battle over control of the church, say police.
—Christianity Today
4861 Quarrel Over Imagined Offenses
An old writer tells of two brothers who went out to take a walk in the night, and one of them looked up to the sky and said, “I wish I had a pasture-field as large as the night heavens.” And the other brother looked up into the sky, and said, “I wish I had as many oxen as there are stars in the sky.”
“Well,” said the first, “how would you feed so many oxen?” Said the second, “I would turn them into your pasture.” “What! whether I would or not?” “Yes, whether you would or not.” And there arose a quarrel; and when the quarrel ended one had slain the other.
—Walter Baxendale
4862 Division Between Wesley And Toplady
It was concerning the author of “Rock of Ages” that John Wesley wrote in 1770: “Mr. Augustus Toplady I know well; but I do not fight with chimney-sweepers. He is too dirty a writer for me to meddle with; I should only foul my fingers.” He also referred to him as a “lively foxcomb.”
Toplady paid his respect to Wesley in a similar strain. He wondered whether there was more of the “insidious” than of “the acid” in the make-up of his opponent; spoke of the latter as hatching blasphemy; said that his forehead was “impervious to a blush”; and that he had penned “a known, willful, palpable lie to the public.”
Whitefield as well as Toplady, as everybody knows, taught the doctrine of Election, and Telford’s Life of John Wesley informs us how he and the Wesleys split over that rock. On one occasion, about 1740, Whitefield preached the absolute decrees in the most peremptory and offensive manner. Some thousands of people were present, and Charles Wesley sat beside him. The rupture was soon completed.
—George F. Green in The Outlook
4863 Locking Horns And Dying
In an old monastery near Bebenhausen, Germany, one may see two pairs of deer horns interlocked. They were found in that position many years ago. The deer had been fighting; their horns got jammed together and could not be separated; so they died. Dr. Kerr, who first told the story, added, “I would like to carry those horns into every house and school.” We might add, “And into every church.”
—Harold P. Barker
4864 Cause Of Caravan Split: Inner Disunity
A wagon train set out from Kleinburg, Ont., on April 1, 1975, for Alberta’s Peace River country. In spite of criticisms of the 3,000-mile venture, the modern-day pioneers duly set out in their covered wagons.
The group, however, had not travelled far before they ran into a problem: disunity in their midst. Accordingly, on May 8 they split into two groups, each with its own name: the Canadian Wagon Train and the North-Western Wagon Train Community. The division was due primarily to disagreement over leadership and route.
4865 Picking The Pickets
Pickets picketing a Portland, Ore., machinery supply company were picketed by pickets protesting that the original pickets were carrying signs made in a non-union shop.
—Selected
4866 Spurgeon’s Effective Weapon
While Charles Spurgeon was still a boy preacher, he was warned about a certain quarrelsome woman and told that she intended to give him a tongue-lashing. “All right,” he replied, “but that’s a game that two can play.” Not long afterward she met him and assailed him with a flood of abuse. He smiled and said, “Yes, thank you, I am quite well. I hope you are the same.”
Then came another burst of vituperation, pitched in a higher key to which he replied, still smiling, “Yes, it does look rather as if it might rain. I think I had better be getting on.” “Bless the man!” she exclaimed. “He’s as deaf as a post. What’s the use of storming at him!” And so her railings ceased and were never again attempted.
—J. A. Clarks
4867 Letting Him Keep The Stone
For years two monks lived together in concord and amity. The monotony of their manner of life finally moved one of them to say, “Let us get out of the groove of our humdrum round of daily tasks and do something different: let us do as the world does.” Having lived the sequestered life so long, the monk inquired, “What does the world without do?” “Well, for one thing, the world quarrels.”
Having lived together so long in the bondage of a holy love, he had forgotten how to quarrel, so he queried, “How does the world quarrel?” So the other monk replied, “See that stone. Place it between us and say, “The stone is mine.” “ Willing to accommodate his friend, he said, “The stone is mine.” Pausing for reflection and feeling the compulsion of their years of friendship, the monk who suggested the quarrel concluded, “Well, brother, if the stone is thine, keep it.” And thus ended the quarrel.
—John R. Riebe
4868 Forgive the Guilty
The Rev. W. Howels once said, the best way to settle a quarrel was to “let the innocent forgive the guilty.” The Rev. John Clark of Frome was asked, one day, how he kept from being involved in quarrels. He answered, “By letting the angry person always have the quarrel to himself.”
—Henry
4869 Thackeray Seized Dickens’ Hands
The renowned William M. Thackeray and the famous Charles Dickens had a quarrel. Just before Christmas in 1863 when they met in London, they refused to speak to one another. Pricked in his conscience, Thackeray turned back and seized the hand of his friend, saying he couldn’t bear the coldness that existed between them. Dickens was touched and the old anger and jealousy gave way to reconciliation. Shortly afterward, Thackeray suddenly died. Reflecting on this incident, Sir Thomas Martin wrote in his memoirs, “The next time I saw Dickens he was standing at the grave of his rival. He must have rejoiced, I thought, that he had shaken hands so warmly a few days before.”
—Our Daily Bread
4870 Too Many Meetings?
In the conference room of a large corporation was a framed motto expressing the sentiments of the president. It’s no longer there, but its message was: Intelligence is no substitute for information; enthusiasm is no substitute for capacity; willingness is no substitute for experience. The motto is gone because one morning, after a series of meetings, some wag had added: “A meeting is no substitute for progress.”
SOME SOLUTIONS
4871 Tall Boy’s Reply
Dear Abby: The letter from “Tall Boy” who was tired of having people ask him, “How’s the weather up there,” hit home with me because I, too, was tall in school. Being a girl it was even worse.
When kids would ask me how the weather was up there, I’d give them the answer my Dad suggested: “Why don’t you grow up and find out.”
That shut them up. And they respected me more for telling them off instead of pouting.
—“Tall in Missouri”
4872 Hurried Encounter
Jones was hurrying along a street one night when another man, also in violent haste, rushed out from a side street and the two collided with great force.
The second man looked angry, but Jones, with his inborn courtesy, raised his hat and said:
“My dear sir, I don’t know which of us is to blame for this violent encounter, but I am in too great a hurry to investigate. If I ran into you, I beg your pardon; if you ran into me, don’t mention it.”
Then he tore away at redoubled speed.
4873 Son Staying In Between
In his home a pastor was counseling privately with a man. They heard the patter of feet. The closed door opened. A little boy entered the room. The man turned toward the boy and asked him a question: “Son, suppose your dad and mamma would quarrel, what would you do? Would you, with your mamma fight against your dad: or would you help your dad against your mamma?”
After a moment’s silence, the following thoughtful answer came from the son of the pastor: “I would not side with either. I would stay in between and try to stop their fighting.”
—Christian Index
4874 Think Of Next Year
Boswell, the famous biographer of Dr. Johnson, was once insulted by an associate. At once he rushed off to Dr. Johnson, his idol, to complain.
“Consider, sir,” said Dr. Johnson, with a laugh, “how insignificant this will appear twelve months hence.”
Boswell took the advice to heart. Later he admitted: “Were this consideration applied to most of the little vexations of life, by which our quiet is too often disturbed, it would prevent many painful sensations. I have tried it frequently, and with good effect.”
4875 “The Enemy Is Yonder”
The day before the battle of Trafalgar, Admiral Collingwood went on board the Victory to receive instructions. Nelson asked him why he had not brought his captain with him, and was told in return that he and the admiral were not on very good terms with one another. Nelson at once sent a boat for Captain Rotherham, and on his arrival led him to Collingwood, and said, “Look, yonder are the enemy!” and make them shake like Englishmen.
4876 Instinct Of Lower Animals
Henry Ward Beecher was once interrupted in the middle of a speech by an imitation of a rooster crowing.
He nonchalantly stepped aside, sipped a glass of water and waited for the crowing and the subsequent laughter to subside. Then he took out his watch, looked at it closely and said:
“That’s strange. My watch says that it is only ten o’clock. But it must be morning, for the instincts of the lower animals are infallible.”
4877 Those Walruses
John Barrymore once confounded an audience with a somewhat similar stunt—right in New York, at the height of the run of Redemption. There was an epidemic of coughing throughout the first act. When it broke out again in the second, Barrymore was all set. He suddenly yanked a five-pound sea-bass from under his coat and flung it over the footlights. “Busy yourselves with this, you walruses,” he bellowed, “while the rest of us proceed with the libretto!”
4878 Headquarters Or Hindquarters
When General Pope was named to command the Union Army of Virginia in 1862, he issued a proclamation threatening the Southern forces with many catastrophes. The proclamation was headed “Headquarters in the Saddle.” Stonewall Jackson is credited with the perfect retort: “Why pay any attention to a general who obviously didn’t know his headquarters from his hindquarters?”
4879 Fools “Here”
Richard Brinsley Sheridan once succeeded admirably in trapping a noisy member of the House of Commons who interrupted every speaker with cries of, “Hear, hear!” He alluded to a well-known political character whom he represented as a person who wished to play the rogue, but had only sense enough to play the fool.
“Where,” exclaimed Sheridan with great emphasis, “where shall we find a more foolish knave or more knavish fool than this?”
“Hear, hear!” was instantly bellowed from the accustomed bench.
“Thank you very much,” said Sheridan with a bow as he took his seat amid peals of laughter.
4880 Where Is The Ass?
One day while Lloyd George was making a political speech before a big crowd, a heckler yelled, “Wait a minute, Mr. George. Isn’t it true your grandfather used to peddle tinware around here in an ox cart hauled by a donkey?”
Lloyd George replied, “I digress just a moment and thank the gentleman for calling that to my attention. It is true, my dear old grandfather used to peddle tinware around with an old cart and a donkey. As a matter of fact, after this meeting is over, if my friend will come with me, I will show him that old cart, but I never knew until this minute what became of the ass.”
4881 Content Of Both Minds
Lyndon B. Johnson told about Al Smith, a presidential candidate in 1928, who was making a speech when a heckler yelled, “Tell ’em what’s on your mind, Al, it won’t take long.” Smith grinned, pointed at the man and shouted, “Stand up, pardner, and I’ll tell ’em what’s on both our minds. It won’t take any longer.”
4882 Epigram On Quarrelsome
• It takes two to make a quarrel.
—English Proverb
• If there is no wind, will the trees quiver?
—Malay Proverb
• Two cannot fall out if one does not choose.
—Spanish Proverb
• An argument is the longest distance between two points of view.
—Dan Bennett
• A long dispute means that both parties are wrong.
—Voltaire
• Drop the subject when you cannot agree: there is no need to be bitter because you know you are right.
—Thoughts
• I hate a quarrel because it interrupts an argument.
• No man resolved to make the most of himself can spare time for personal contention. Killing the dog will not cure the bite.
—Lincoln
• Least said, soonest mended.
—English Proverb
• If we must disagree, let’s disagree without being disagreeable.
—L. B. Johnson
• One secret of successful conversation is learning to disagree without being disagreeable. It isn’t what but how you speak that makes all the difference. Ben Franklin used to remark diplomatically, “On this point, I agree. But on the other, if you don’t mind may I take exception?”
—Family Circle
• It has been said that an Irishman is at peace only when he is in a quarrel; a Scotchman is at home only when he is abroad; an Englishman is contented only while finding fault with something or somebody.
—E. L. Magoon
• One of the marks of a gentleman is his refusal to make an issue out of every difference of opinion.
—Arnold H. Glasow
• A boy becomes a man when he walks around a puddle instead of through it.
• A friendly discussion is usually an argument in its initial stages.
—E. C. Mckenzie
• One reason why people who mind their own business are successful is that they have so little competition.
See also: Fierce ; Rebellious ; Stubborness .
R