They did eat, they drank, they married wives, they were given in marriage, until the day that Noah entered into the ark, and the flood destroyed them all.
—Luke 17:27
3297 Most Married Person
According to the Guinness Book of Records, the greatest number of marriages (in the monogamous world) was contracted by an American, Glynn de Moss Wolfe, who married 19 times since 1931.
He keeps two wedding dresses in his closet for ready use. They are of different sizes. He has, however, suffered 16 mothers-in-law.
3298 Marrying Each Other 27 Times
To protest against the increasing number of divorces, James and Mary Grady of Illinois married each other—again and again—for 27 times between 1964–69.
They have gone through the ceremonies in 25 different states, 3 times in a day, twice in an hour, and twice over TV
3299 Former Oldest Bridegroom
The oldest recorded bridegroom had been Ralph Cambridge, 105, of South Africa, who married Mrs. Adriana Kapp, 70, in 1971.
3300 Latest Oldest Bridegroom
But the record went to the Caribbeans in 1975 when a 115-year-old man from Puerto Rico came to the Dominican Republic on vacation and ended up marrying a 16-year-old woman, 99 years his junior.
Ramon Garcia Diaz, who had never been married before, said that “I didn’t have time before. I’ve been an adventurer.”
3301 Peak Year For U.S. Marriages
The peak year for marriages in the U. S. was 1946, when 2.3 million couples said “I do.” Sometime now, however, that record will be broken—the estimate is for 2.6 million in the 1980s.
The number of marriages will taper off in the 1990s, because of the fewer children born over the past decade, who will then reach marriageable age.
3302 Married People Live Longer
According to insurance statistics, the death rate for married men aged 25 to 34 is 1.5 per thousand; for single men it is twice as high—more than 3.5 per thousand.
The difference is greater as men grow older: In the 35 to 44 group, the death rate for married men is 3.1 per thousand; for unmarried it is 8.3.
Among all women, the mortality rate for single females is almost twice that of women who are or have been married. Which could mean that the moral is: Better wed than dead.
—New York Times
3303 Wedding Capital Of World
In Noah’s day they were marrying and giving in marriage. So in Las Vegas today, The Flamingo gambling hall has a chapel with a wedding service director, “available twenty-four hours a day.” A candlelit service is advertised, with organ music—a “wedding you’ll always remember.” The Hitching Post Wedding Chapel advertises—”Fee, ten dollars for use of the chapel … No waiting period, or physical exam. Ministers on call, day and night.” Las Vegas boasts that it is the wedding capital of the country. The great god, mammon, presides over all of this.
—Christian Victory
3304 Twisting The Hold-up
Antonio Cervantes of Mexico City, with no money to pay for the wedding bill, tried by holding up the house of his father-in-law-elect. “I had no money, and he’s rich,” Antonio explained. His bride-to-be had no comment.
3305 Changing His Mind Again
In Santa Fe, a man phoned the New Mexican to ask that his engagement notice be withdrawn, was told that the item had already gone to press, and remarked philosophically: “Oh, well, I guess I’ll marry her then.”
3306 Bible Quote Over Jury Duty
A Houston newlywed used a Bible quotation to be excused from jury duty: “When a man hath taken a new wife, he shall not go out to war, neither shall he be charged with any business; but he shall cheer up his wife which he hath taken” (Deut. 25:5).
The judge sent him home.
—United Press International
3307 Forward To Silver Anniversary
In Coventry, England, a man called at the Citizens’ Advice Bureau and asked to have his wife traced. It transpired that they had parted three days after their wedding nearly 25 years before, and hadn’t seen each other since. Asked whether he was thinking of a divorce, the man replied, “Oh, no. I was just thinking it would be nice to get together to celebrate our silver wedding anniversary.”
—Weekly News, London
3308 The Daughter In India
Marrying off a girl can be an expensive process for an upper or middle-class family in India, where the bride’s family is expected to make a hefty settlement (dowry) in cash and gifts to the groom. There is an Indian folksaying to the effect that it is better to be childless than to have a daughter.
3309 Rising Cost Of Oil-Brides
Tripoli, Libya (AP)—Libya’s oil boom is pricing its women out of the marriage market.
The usual stiff fee demanded by fathers of prospective brides—about 1,000 dinars, or $3,500 in cash with a camel, sheep and some gold coins thrown in—has grown out of hand in this society fueled by oil revenue.
The groom’s family in a “low bracket” transaction now gives the equivalent of $12,000 in cash and a new car, in addition to the customary camel and a sheep or two. In the upper brackets, gifts of $35,000 in cash aren’t unusual.
Some men succumb to what amounts to an ultimatum and pay the demanded sum as readily as Libya’s $5 billion-a-year income from oil pumps cash into nomad hands that had none a few years ago.
Others, however, are crossing frontiers in search of mates far less expensive. Officials lack figures, but sources report hundreds of Libyan males have gone west to Tunisia and east to Egypt where the price of a wife is said to be around $200.
UNUSUAL PARTNERS
3310 Grade School Boy Weds Teacher
From the Philippines comes this report: A fourth grader, Thomas Bautista, 14, was married to a widowed teacher by the Mayor at the town hall.
The bride, Julia N. Sumaguit, mother of four, is from the hometown of President Marcos. Her eldest is a boy about the same age as her new husband.
Mrs. Bautista teaches at Tibagan elementary school where her husband is enrolled. She was assigned there after passing a competitive test for teachers. According to Bautista’s teacher-in-charge, Silvestre Mariano, the young bridegroom, “is a bright boy and ranks first in his class.”
Mariano, who was among the wedding sponsors said Mrs. Bautista had confided to him she was willing to see her husband through school “for as long as he wishes to study.”
3311 Grandma Takes Young Husband
Fortaleza, Brazil (AP)—A 71-year-old great-grandmother took a 22-year-old husband in this northern port city during a ceremony attended mainly by curious spectators and newsmen.
“I am absolutely certain Cosmos is not marrying me to gain anything: I am retired and earn little,” said twice-widowed Rozena Barroso Lima.
“I am marrying Rozena because I love her, because l haven’t met anyone as good as she,” said Da Silva.
The bride has nine children, 47 grandchildren and six great-grandchildren.
None of the bride’s children, grandchildren and great- grandchildren were present at the ceremony.
3312 Bride Had 13 Bullets In Her
Kfar Sava, Israel, (UPI)—Zadok Nager, 35, and France Peretz, 28, proving that love conquers all, even the 13 submachinegun bullets he shot into her, were married for the second time.
The couple, who had already divorced each other once, were courting again when Nager suspected his ex-wife of being unfaithful and shot her.
After recovering from the shooting, Miss Peretz visited Nager in jail, pending his trial for attempted murder. Nager told a district court judge in Tel Aviv, “She forgives me and we love each other.”
Guarded by two plain-clothes policemen, the two were wedded. Then Nager was escorted back to his cell.
3313 Midget To Wed Tall Girl
Born midget, Ettore Panicucci, 30, who bills himself as the world’s smallest man, obviously wants to marry a woman he can look up to. But there’ll be no need to place his bride on a pedestal. He’s engaged to Aniko Bethlen, 26, of Budapest, Hungary. She’s a tall skating ballerina and he’s a skating clown in the Italian ice show, “Circo sul Ghiaccio.” They’ll be married next month.
—United Press International
3314 What A Tie-up!
At New Philadelphia, Ohio, a double wedding was announced. A nineteen-year-old boy was to marry a sixteen-year-old girl. His seventeen-year-old sister was to wed the father of his bride.
I don’t know if that confuses you as much as it does me, but the upshot of it would be that the sister would become her brother’s mother-in-law, and the brother of the sister would become his father-in-law’s brother-in-law. And his bride would become her father’s sister-in-law. And their children would be first cousins of the sister-in-law’s mother-in-law.
And again, at Aberdeen, South Dakota, Virgil Schense became his father’s brother-in-law and the uncle of his three brothers and sisters. His three sisters became nieces of his wife and also her sisters-in-law. His wife became her sister’s daughter-in-law’s sister-in-law and also her husband’s aunt.
Now how did things get that way? In case you can’t figure it out, here’s what happened. Virgil Schense, son of his fathers’ first wife, married the sister of his father’s second wife.
—Lowell Thomas
3315 Silk Garment “Marries” Cotton Robe
There have been many marriages of inanimate objects in Japan. But few have equaled in splendor the one which united two kimonos in Kyoto in 1934. In this wedding, solemnized with Shinto rites and celebrated with an elaborate banquet, the bride was a renowned 232-year-old silk garment and the groom a distinguished 110-year-old cotton robe. The invitations were so highly prized that they have virtually become museum pieces.
—Selected
3316 Man Marries Dead Girl
The Philippines’ Times-Journal reports the following story:
A man married a corpse and spent a “honeymoon” night with her! Antonio Puno, a security guard at the presidential palace, married Editha Reyes, as she lay in a coffin in the church. It was a funeral-wedding ceremony the local people will never forget.
The coffin bearing Edith in her wedding gown entered the church as scheduled. Her father was beside the coffin. Ahead was Edith’s godson who acted as ringbearer. The rest of the bridal entourage followed. Waiting at the altar was Tony, who stood at the head of Edith’s coffin as the Protestant pastor officiated.
When it was all over, the glass top of the coffin was lifted. He kissed her on the forehead and the cheek, while those near the coffin flinched at the strong smell of chemicals. The wedding ended. The dirge was played. The funeral began.
Tony spent the night at Edith’s house, describing it as “my honeymoon night.” He said he placed Edith’s tangerine duster close to his chest as he lay remembering their days together.
Tony and Edith went steady in 1970. It was a long engagement. Four days before Edith’s death, they finally set the wedding date for June 28th. And then tragedy struck. Edith had a slight fever and hard time breathing. The town doctor was called who immediately gave her a shot of dimpheril. Within five minutes she became pale and was brought to the hospital. The next day, Edith was dead.
Before she succumbed, she was able to whisper to Tony: “If I die, will the wedding still be held?” Tony confided he said “Yes.”
THE CEREMONY
3317 A Rock Marriage
If ever a marriage was started on the rock, it was that of Robert Homer Berden and his bride, Frances Frei, who were married in a ceremony on top of the Rock of Gibraltar, in St. Michael’s Cave.
Berden said later, “We chose the site because we wanted to found our marriage on a rock.
3318 Handcuffed Couple
The bride and bridegroom were handcuffed to each other during the ceremony. As they stood there before the minister, one arm of the bridegroom was handcuffed to the adjoining arm of the bride.
It happened at Cambridge, Massachusetts, where Fernan Lowe was tipped off that some friends of his were up to a practical joke. They planned to abduct the bride at the wedding. But Fernan fooled them. He fixed it so they’d have to abduct him also. That’s why the bride and bridegroom were handcuffed at the altar. They went off on their honeymoon still handcuffed together.
3319 Butterflies For Confetti
When Corinne Hicks emerged with her new husband after her wedding at St. Paul’s Church in Wodingham, England, her father released 2000 butterflies on the church steps. He began cultivating the butterflies in a spare room of his home a year before when he learned that confetti was banned at the church.
3320 Wedding Right At Sunday Worship
A young American couple did not want an elaborate wedding and a big reception, so they were married during a regular Sunday morning service at the church where they met.
“We are being married, not having wedding,” said the bride, “and we view the church as a family. Here, members of the congregation can share our joy.”
After the sermon, the couple stepped forward and in a three-minute ceremony was married by the pastor.
3321 The Cuckoo Response
They wanted a Christian wedding but a quiet one; so they chose to be married in the parsonage rather than in the church. The pastor’s wife had made everything spic and span for the occasion. When the time came the wedding party arrived—the couple to be married and their attendants.
The ceremony proceeded, and the minister (who happened to be my son) came to the part where the bride is asked, “Do you take this man to be your lawful wedded husband?” Just at that instant the clock just above the heads of the couple interrupted with its hourly serenade. In this instance it was a bombast of seven appropriate cuckoos.
The pastor’s wife had forgotten this one important matter. What an interruption it was! It was difficult to proceed, the bride never regained her composure throughout the rest of the ceremony.
—Carl Williams
3322 For The Birds?
Little Rock, Arkansas (AP)—With a justice of the peace shouting instructions from the ground, Ann Smith and Jim Garner, both telephone linemen, were married atop a telephone pole.
The wedding, in crisp, cool weather, took place on a gravel road. About 40 persons were on hand.
The couple, wearing jeans instead of the customary wedding garb, hitched on climbing gear and ascended to a gaily decorated cross bar where a bucket of champagne and goblets awaited.
3323 Through Three Ceremonies
The news has it that Mary Campbell of Elgin, Illinois, had to say “I do” three times at three different wedding ceremonies before she finally became Mrs. Randy Peterson. Friends said the first two ceremonies were beautiful, but illegal.
The couple took out their marriage license in Kane county and made all the arrangements for their wedding at the Smyrna Free Will Baptist Church in Ontarioville on Saturday. “It was a simply beautiful wedding,” said one guest. But the church was in Du Page county, not Kane county, and the ceremony didn’t count, they were told.
They packed up the wedding party and moved on to Lord’s Park on the eastern edge of Elgin. Brother Bobby Thompson married the couple a second time in the three-shaded park with its quaint bridge over a quiet lagoon. A sharp-eyed copy editor at the Elgin Daily Courier-News was reading a report on the wedding when he noticed another problem. The park is in Cook county, 200 feet from the Kane county line. The third ceremony later Saturday took place in the newsroom of the Courier-News, a good mile inside Kane county. Mary and Randy were finally married in the eyes of the law.
3324 He Was Married Unknowingly
At Cambridge, Pennsylvania, Marcus met Alexandra, and found her company delightful because Alexandra, too, was Greek and spoke the Hellenic tongue, as well as English. One day she took him to the office of an American gentleman. Marcus didn’t know it was the justice of the peace. Alexandra spoke in English, and Marcus didn’t know what she was saying. The justice of the peace spoke, also in English and Marcus did understand a word or two, like “Yes” and “I do.” And Marcus mumbled obediently, not knowing what it meant. He was being married but he didn’t know it.
After a while he didn’t go around with Alexandra anymore, quite forgot her, until he was arrested for desertion and non-support. That’s when he found out he was married. In court Alexandra admitted that the story Marcus told had certain points of accuracy. She conceded that it might be that Marcus didn’t completely understand that he was getting married, didn’t quite fathom the meaning of the words when he mumbled “Yes” and “I do.” He had acquired a wife, and it was English to him.
—Selected
3325 Bride Couldn’t Make Up Mind
Prominent members of San Francisco Society crowded Saints Peter and Paul Church in San Francisco for the wedding. At the stipulated moment in the ceremony, the dazzling bride was asked, “Do you take this man for your lawfully wedded husband?”
“I don’t know,” she murmured to the priest. “I just can’t make up my mind.”
The officiating priest waited a moment, then announced to the audience, “The wedding is off.”
The reception was cancelled. Hundreds of dollars worth of food was given away. All because at the moment of decision the bride could not make up her mind.
However, a week later the bride asked for the wedding to proceed. “I was just nervous,” she said. “My mind is made up now. I do take the groom as my husband.”
3326 Wrong Foot Forward
Uxbridge, England (UPI)—Radiant bride Sandra Rogers, 18, walked down the aisle and headed for her happy wedding reception. So did Terry Chase, 22.
Once in the reception Chase annoyed groom Michael Rogers, 22, and before anyone knew what was happening fists flew.
The groom was in it. His father was in it. The best man joined the melee. The groom’s mother watched tables and chairs smashed, bottles and glasses hurled about and shattered.
Before long the police arrived, broke up the wedding party and arrested just about everybody.
“It was a horrible way to start a marriage,” Sandra said after a court fined her husband, his father and interloper Chase on a variety of charges.
3327 Speeding Up “March”
“The Wedding March” has been so distorted that its composer would have difficulty recognizing it, says musicologist Maurice Zam.
The “March” comes from Wagner’s opera Lehengrin, and the tempo of it as indicated by Wagner was andante con moto. This means “faster than a walk.” It should be a joyful rhythmic swing toward the altar. Instead, the “Wedding March” today is played so slowly that only an acrobat could keep his balance in the promenade up the aisle. Better keyed for a murderer in his walk of the last mile toward legal extinction, it has become the most agonizing march in the history of civilized man.
Wagner’s directions were siegreicher mut, which means “courageous spirit”, and schreit voran, which means “advance forward”. “A courageous spirit,” Zam concludes, “is the mood and tempo which should motivate anyone getting married.”
The cure? It involves the reformation of all future organists and musicians so that they play a wedding march andante con moto, meaning “Let’s speed this thing up and get on to the main business, which is a happy honeymoon.”
—Frank Scully
3328 Bishop’s Advice
“If you are for pleasure, marry; if you prize rosy health, marry. A good wife is heaven’s last best gift to a man; his angel of mercy; minister of graces innumerable; his gem of many virtues; his box of jewels; voice, his sweetest music; her smiles, his brightest day; her kiss, the guardian of innocence; her arms, the pale of his safety; the balm of his health; the balsam of his life; her industry, his surest wealth; her economy, his safest steward; her lips, his faithful counsellors; her bosom, the softest pillow of his cares; and her prayers, the ablest advocates of Heaven’s blessing on his head.”
—Bishop Taylor
SOME SMILES
3329 “Awful” Husband
It seems that Rusty misunderstood what the preacher said at his uncle’s wedding, because later he was overheard reenacting it in play, “Rosemary, do you take this man for your awful wedded husband?”
—Presbyterian Life
3330 Take Him “As Is”
Parson: “Do you take this man for better or worse?”
Mandy: “He can’t be no worse, and they is no hopes of his gettin’ any better, so I takes him “as is.””
—Paul E. Holdcraft
3331 When Newsmen Never Ask Why
When he hired me as a cub reporter several years ago, the newspaper editor gave me the basic, classic instructions that I always should find out the answers to the important questions “Who, What, When, Where and Why” for every news story that I wrote. Almost always, he added, “The only newsworthy story for which you never ask Why,” he told me, “is a wedding.”
—Selected
3332 Slightly Used
A bulletin board in the employees’ cafeteria at the new Senate Office Building has this notice: “Wedding gown for sale, Size 10, hand-embroidered with detachable train and slip. Cost $160, sell half-price, worn only two hours.”
—Les Carpenter
3333 “Sin No More”
A justice of the peace in a small New England town was called upon to perform his first marriage ceremony. After he had the knot securely tied, the young couple continued to stand before him as if expecting some further rite.
Whereupon the justice stammered out in a brave attempt to round off the ceremony with something of a religious turn, “There, there, it’s all over! Go and sin no more!”
3334 Only Relatives Marry?
The Douglas County News of Castle Rock, Colorado, carried the story of a proposal by an 8-year-old, who when he asked his little girlfriend to marry him was turned down on the grounds that in her family only relatives married.
When he demanded an explanation she said, “If you and me were relatives we could get married, but we are not. In my family my daddy married my mother. My grandfather married my grandmother, and my uncles are all married to my aunts. So you see, we can’t get married, cause we’re not relatives.”
—Evangelistic Illustration
3335 Epigram On Marriages (Smiles)
• All men are born free, but some get married.
—E. C. McKenzie
• Too many people marry for better or for worse, but not for good.
• The most impressive example of tolerance is a golden wedding anniversary.
—Grit
• The highest happiness on earth is in marriage. Every man who is happily married is a successful man even if he has failed in everything else.
—William Lyon Phelps
• Socrates the philosopher said: “By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you will become very happy; if you get a bad one, you will become a philosopher—and that is also good.”
• “The increasing divorce rate is rapidly making America the land of the free,” a visiting Englishman acidly observed.
“Yes,” admitted his American companion, “but remember the marriage rate is increasing too. That shows America is still the home of the brave.”
See also: Courtship ; Husband And Wife ; Love.